Best 5 things to say to your spouse if you want to sabotage a collaborative divorce meeting or a divorce mediation session
- Geez, you look horrible.
- All of our friends are so thrilled we’re getting divorced, as none of them actually like you.
- I’ve been unfaithful to you since day 1 of our marriage, including, without limitation, with your best friend and at least 2 of your siblings. I can’t remember all the details.
- You’re a terrible lover and always have been. But, there’s good news: I’ll be using my experiences with your inadequacies for good, as you’ll be featured in an upcoming magazine article for which I was interviewed: “What Do You Do When Your Spouse Is Lousy in Bed?”
- For Women: I told the kids Uncle [fill in the blank] is their real father. For Men: I told the kids my girlfriend is their real mother.