Quick Summary

  • Key Takeaway: Back-to-school season may require extra coordination for divorced parents who share custody of their children in Virginia.
  • Main Benefit: Joint legal custody gives both parents a say in educational decisions, but proper planning prevents conflicts.
  • Expert Support: Kales & Kales, PLC provides mediation services to help Virginia families navigate custody challenges with minimal disruption to children.

About Kales & Kales, PLC

Our family law and mediation practice has served Northern Virginia families for over two decades. Amy & Jonathan Kales work together to help families navigate custody challenges with minimal conflict, having successfully mediated many custody agreements while prioritizing children’s well-being and family stability.

Table of Contents

Understanding Virginia Shared Custody Rights During the School Year

As summer winds down and the new school year approaches, divorced and separated parents in Virginia face unique challenges in coordinating their shared custody agreements. The transition back to school affects everything from daily schedules to major educational decisions, making it crucial for co-parents to understand their rights and responsibilities under Virginia law.

In Virginia, joint legal custody means parents must work together to make major decisions about their child’s welfare, including educational choices. This includes choosing which school district their children should attend, which extracurricular activities in which their children should participate, as well as academic planning. However, joint legal custody doesn’t automatically mean smooth coordination—successful back-to-school transitions require proactive planning and clear communication.

Pro Tip: Virginia Code §20-124.3 outlines the “best interests of the child” factors courts rely on. Plans that maintain stability and minimize disruption to a child’s education are viewed most favorably.

The key distinction many Virginia parents overlook is between legal custody (decision-making authority) and physical custody (where the child lives). Even if you have primary physical custody, the other parent with joint legal custody maintains equal say in school-related decisions.

Essential Back-to-School Preparations for Co-Parents: 6 Critical Steps

Step 1: Review and Update Your Custody Agreement

Before the school year begins, thoroughly review your existing custody order or Marital Settlement Agreement. Agreements written years ago may not address current needs or new technology in education.

Pro Tip: If your agreement lacks clear school provisions, consider court-certified mediation before conflicts arise.

Step 2: Establish School Communication Protocols

Create clear guidelines for how both parents will receive school communications.
Under FERPA, custodial and non-custodial parents have equal access to their child’s education records unless a court order says otherwise. Decide whether you’ll share information directly or request duplicate notifications from the school.

Essential coordination points:

  • Parent-portal access for both parents (e.g., FCPS ParentVUE)
  • Emergency-contact preferences
  • Report-card and progress-report distribution
  • Teacher-conference scheduling procedures

Step 3: Coordinate School Enrollment and Registration

Virginia law requires proof of residency for school enrollment. With shared custody, determine which address will be used for boundary purposes.
See Fairfax County’s registration & residency checklist for an example of acceptable documents and custody orders. This choice affects transportation routes, emergency procedures, and after-school care.

Pro Tip: Fairfax, Loudoun, and other NOVA districts publish shared-custody enrollment rules online—contact your district’s enrollment office early.

Step 4: Plan Transportation and Schedule Logistics

School transportation gets complicated with shared custody. Draft a written plan that covers:

  • Daily pickup and drop-off duties
  • Bus-stop authorization (see, e.g., FCPS Transportation Guidelines)
  • After-school activity transport
  • Early dismissal and weather-closure procedures
  • Backup arrangements for schedule conflicts

Pro Tip: The Virginia DOE Pupil-Transportation page lists statewide safety rules—review these before requesting exceptions.

Step 5: Set Guidelines for School Activities and Events

Extracurriculars, field trips, and school events need clear ground rules:

Step 6: Prepare Emergency Contact and Medical Information

List both parents (with current phone, email, and addresses) on every
emergency-care form. Update medical data—medication forms, allergy alerts,
and care plans—each school year.

In addition to following the steps above, parents should also be careful to avoid some common pitfalls:

Mistake 1: Failing to Notify the School About Custody Arrangements

Why it fails: Schools need clear documentation about who can make decisions, pick up children, and receive information.

Better approach: Provide the school with a certified copy of your custody order within three business days of any change in enrollment as required by Code of Virginia §20-124.6, and keep emergency-contact details for both parents current.

Mistake 2: Not Coordinating School Supply Purchases

Why it fails: Duplicate purchases waste money and create confusion about what supplies go to which home.

Better approach: Download the grade-level list from your child’s school (e.g., FCPS Supply Lists hub) and split items by category or alternate years for the
priciest supplies. Consider cost-sharing instead of duplication.

Mistake 3: Ignoring Transportation Schedule Conflicts

Why it fails: School timetables rarely align perfectly with custody schedules, leading to daily stress and missed pickups.

Better approach: Build your custody calendar around the district’s bell schedule and bus routes. Review state transport rules—
Code of Virginia §22.1-176 et seq.—then draft a backup plan for weather delays
and extracurricular drop-offs.

Mistake 4: Excluding the Other Parent from School Communications

Why it fails: Both parents with legal custody have full FERPA rights to educational records and school notices.

Better approach: Ask the school to list both parents’ emails in its SIS/parent-portal and reference the U.S. DOE’s Parent Guide to FERPA for confirmation that non-custodial parents remain entitled to student information unless a court order states otherwise.

Virginia School Enrollment Laws: What Divorced Parents Must Know

Residency Requirements
Virginia Code §22.1-3 lets children in shared-custody situations attend school in either parent’s division once the family files the proper paperwork. You must still pick a single primary address for enrollment. Key considerations:

  • School-boundary determination: The enrollment address decides which school your child attends.
  • Transportation services: Bus routes are based on the enrolled address.
  • Emergency procedures: Schools rely on the enrolled address for emergency notifications and releases.

Required Documentation

Virginia districts typically ask for:

  • Certified copy of the latest custody order
  • Proof of residency (see FCPS Registration Checklist)
  • Medical and immunization records
  • Prior school transcripts

Important: NOVA districts enforce strict transfer windows:

  • Fairfax County – Student-transfer requests close in early May (FCPS Transfer Deadlines).
  • Loudoun County – Special-permission applications end 30 April 2025
    (LCPS Special Permission).
  • Missing a deadline means your child may have to stay in their base school all year.

Creating Effective Co-Parenting Communication for the School Year

Strong communication prevents missed events, duplicate efforts, and stress.
Recommended tools:

  • Shared calendar: Google Calendar or a dedicated co-parenting app such as
    OurFamilyWizard
  • Document sharing: Google Drive or Dropbox for forms and permission slips
  • Communication log: Keep a running record of school-related chats and decisions
  • Emergency-contact protocol: Agree on who the school should call first and in what order
  • Weekly Communication Schedule: Hold a standing check-in (phone, video, or messaging app) every Sunday evening and discuss:  Upcoming school events & activities; Academic progress or concerns; Transportation-schedule updates; Extracurricular decisions; and Homework-support coordination
  • For templates and school-family engagement tips, see the
    VDOE Parent Resources portal    .

When to Consider Custody Modification Before School Starts

Sometimes existing arrangements no longer fit new school schedules or family realities. Under Code §20-124.2(F), courts may modify custody if a “material change in circumstances” makes an update in the child’s best interests.

Common Reasons for School-Related Modifications

  • Transportation difficulties: Excessive travel
  • Academic-support needs: One parent better positioned for homework help
  • Extracurricular conflicts: Activities clash with the current schedule
  • School-boundary changes: Redistricting impacts parenting schedule or school quality

Frequently Asked Questions: Virginia Shared Custody and Schools

Can one parent enroll our child in a different school without the other’s consent?

No. With joint legal custody, both parents must consent to major educational decisions, including school choice; unilateral changes can invite contempt
findings. See §20-124.2(B).

Who receives school communications and report cards?

FERPA entitles custodial and non-custodial parents to equal access to
records unless a court order says otherwise. See the U.S. DOE’s FERPA divorce FAQ.

How do we handle parent-teacher conferences with joint custody?

Coordinate in advance—schools may hold one joint meeting or two separate ones.
Use your district’s family-engagement guidance (e.g., VDOE Parent Resources) to request dual appointments and share teacher notes.

What if we disagree about extracurricular activities?

Extracurricular decisions fall under joint-legal-custody rights. If parents cannot agree, mediation with Kales & Kales, PLC may resolve custody conflicts faster and at lower cost than a motion hearing.

Can the school release my child to either parent?

Schools must follow the pickup rules in your custody order. Fairfax County’s Parents’ Rights policy explains that a valid court order supersedes all other requests, and staff confirm photo ID before release.

How do we coordinate school pickup and drop-off schedules?

Start with the district’s transportation rules—see FCPS Transportation & “Kiss & Ride” guidelines—and map them into a shared Google or OurFamilyWizard calendar. Build backup plans for weather delays or traffic.

What happens if there’s a school emergency and I can’t be reached?

Virginia DOE’s Division & School Safety framework directs schools to contact the next listed emergency guardian. Keep both parents’ numbers current on the emergency-care card to avoid delays.

Kales & Kales, PLC – Northern Virginia Family Law & Mediation

4000 Legato Rd, Suite 1100, Fairfax, VA 22033
(703) 896-7580
www.kaleslaw.com
Serving Fairfax, Loudoun, Arlington & all Northern Virginia

Legal Disclaimer: This article is general information, not legal advice. Laws and procedures change; consult a qualified Virginia family-law attorney about
your specific circumstances.