9 Questions to Ask Before Negotiating Child Custody in Divorce

Your marriage might be over, but the relationship you have with your children will last a lifetime. Often your children will serve as the single link left between yourself and a divorced spouse. Therefore, no matter how bad your divorce is, you should always strive to make the situation as bearable as possible for your children.

Contrary to popular belief, divorce doesn’t have to rip your family apart. Yes, your marriage will be dissolved, but that doesn’t mean your child has to suffer needlessly as a result. It’s difficult, but you will have to put your personal feelings aside and consider the true well-being of your child — both for the time being and the future.

This may lead to decisions you may not immediately favor, but you should always consider your child’s well-being over your personal feelings.

Whether you decide to have a mediator handle your divorce or if you go to court you need to consider goals on how you should handle child custody. To help you reach these goals here are 9 essential questions you need to ask before negotiating child custody.

1) What qualities do I believe need to be in place to be considered a good parent? Do I possess any of these qualities? Does the other parent possess any of these qualities?

2) Are there certain types of activities that my children like to do with me alone? What about the other parent?

3) What values, skills, traits, and knowledge can I offer to my children? What can the other parent offer?

4) Can I take care of my children on my own or do I need the help of the other parent? Will the other parent be able to take care of the child on their own?

5) If one of the parents has not played a significant role in the life of the child is there potential of that person becoming more involved in the future?

6) What do I personally believe are the benefits of my children having a stable relationship with both mom and dad? If one parent were kept out of the picture what harm would that bring?

7) When it comes to parenting decisions is there room for compromise?

8) Am I capable of relinquishing control when my child goes to visit their other parent?

9) Am I really the best parent for my child at their current age and stage of development? Is the other parent suited for the task?

Divorce might be the end of your marriage, but your child still deserves to be loved and cared for by both parents. There is a wide range of advantages for having both parents in a child’s life. These include:

  • Feelings of love from both parents
  • Expanded worldviews
  • A greater sense of security
  • A greater sense of self

Your child should always be at the forefront of your mind while you’re negotiating your divorce. Ensure the well-being of your child’s future by asking these essential questions.

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