“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – E.M. Forster

No one plans to get divorced when they enter a marriage. It is hard to let go of the future that you and your spouse had planned together. As seasoned divorce attorneys, though, we have heard enough, and experienced enough, to be able to provide you with a few mental health survival tips:

  1. Emotions such as anger, panic and fear should not guide your decision-making. Understand your options (some of the best are collaborative divorce, mediation, and uncontested divorce – avoid court, if you can) focus your energies, and then make informed decisions.
  2. Decide on your goals and keep them in perspective (do not be inflexible).
  3. Try to keep the channels of communication open with your spouse, to stay calm, and to avoid allowing tensions to escalate in an already difficult situation; keep things as amicable as possible.
  4. Fighting on principle, or just to fight, is a bad decision. It can lead to a long-term war with devastating economic and emotional consequences.
  5. Do your best to negotiate a settlement agreement. If you allow the court system to decide your case, you lose control of your possible outcomes, and if you don’t like the result, your only remedy may be a long, costly appeal that keeps your life in limbo.